Lies,lies and more lies, oh look its the holidays... FML!!!

Hello everyeone, here I am again to complain about what a boring fucking life I have at the moment. I really thought that by now maybe my husband and I would of already worked things out again. Well guess what,no we did not.So as you all could have guessed, the 2nd baby momma, bought my husband a vehicle, so he can move around in. Not to mention, she also got the gastric bypass with her late husbands pay out. Wow is that not a bitch. I guess it is true,we truly do not know who we work for till,we die.Well I am currently still living with my roommate and we are pretty well off.God has blessed us with work and a health for the mean time. I have been able to see my son,even if it is briefly due to his father. I love my husband still very much,but how can you come at me, when you spend the night at our home and ask me, or better yet, tell me the following statement. "We should not have sex, because we should not base our relationhip out of sex."I have to admit the odasity that my husband has to say this? I do not know what to make of this? I know for a fact this man lies and my son has confirmed it many many times. He loves to state that my son fucks up and it is not my son messing up. It is him, all this time, talking smack about how my son is an idiot and he is not good at all. That he messes up constantly. I pray to god every day that my son will be moving in with us soon. His father does not want to, he claims to be happy where he is at? I just listen to him and see his actions which are opposite of everything he speaks. He claims his 2nd baby momma is just his roommate,but yet he gets into a anxiety attack as soon as she calls him or his baby calls him. I do not understand why the bs? Why? I understand that this is bs and he will never see me or my worth till I walk away. I am in the process people, please be patient with me. My actions are not the best at making decisions,especially after I have been with him on and off for 13 years. I have tried to work it out after every bs he has done to me. Everything and he does not see it. I hate to say this but I do not think,we will get back together. I will keep on playing his game till I can get my son's custody. I love my husband but the lies are driving me and my son insane. I like to think that everything will get better and that we will be together again once in a lifetime. Yet I do not see the light at this moment. All my friends tell me to walk away from him and to cut him out of my life and I feel as if I should. I am not happy when he tries to hold me. I feel happy with him but at the current moment I am super sad an depressed. All I asked is for my son to come and stay with us this week and he refused. I do not know what to tell him anymore. I am just so upset at him rn. My son is as well. I can not stop my son from feeling like a complete failure in front of his father. I do not understand why he treats our son the way he does?I am so upset bc he does not see the effect heis causing in our son's life. All I wanted was for us to get back together, continue our lives and become a wonderful family again,but of course my husbands, ex ,who is now his roommate. Is calling the shots in his life and my husband has to obey like a good lap dog. FML the holidays I love with my son and our family,but of course his father is the best at fucking that up every year. Thanks again for another fucked up year. I swear next year will be different son, I promise. I will fix this and leave your dad out of our lives. I do not know how to do it, but I will.

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